whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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