I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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