u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
