Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
