My liver just broke up with me...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
