Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
