so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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