Tell her she can't have a vagina
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
