so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
