my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
