How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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