Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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