Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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