Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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