Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
