i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
