my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
