Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
