after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
