We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just found puke in my bra..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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