Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
