Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
