FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just found puke in my bra..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
