I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
