did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
