We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
