ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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