She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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