Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
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i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
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