Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
