so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
