these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
farters have to be the big spoon...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
