Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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