is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
