Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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