i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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