Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
NoShamevember. You game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize