just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
