I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
