I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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