the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The best revenge is premature balding
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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