Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I need a beard to bite.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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