I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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