Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
