he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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