are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
