Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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