Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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