Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
