She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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