I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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