Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
