fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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