just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize