Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize