he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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